


Unfortunate Happenings

by mihomi98



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-25 00:27:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3789823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mihomi98/pseuds/mihomi98
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>These are just random scene my friends and I came up with. Pure crack.</p><p>Repost from fanfiction.net. Written in 2007.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unfortunate Happenings

**RON**

**A/n: Okay, people, remember back in the second Harry Potter book, how Hagrid told the boys to follow the spiders, and Ron wished it was follow the butterflies? Well, this is how me and my friends think that would go ;)**

"Harry, you stay, I'm going to go and follow the butterflies!" Ron exclaimed loudly.

"Okay... you do that, Ron." Harry was slightly confused at why his friend would rather 'follow the butterflies' than hang out with him and Hermione. There was just some things he would never

understand about Ron.

Ron skipped off. "La de la la!" Ron sang gleefully. He was as giddy as a schoolgirl. All the sudden, he noticed the butterflies were heading off in odd directions towards to lake.  _That's weird..._ he thought. But none the less, he continued to follow the butterflies.

_SPLASH!_

Ron fell into the lake as the butterflies flew above it. The mer-people began to swim up to him, and stuck there head out of the lake.

"RONALD WEASLEY! GET OUT OF THAT LAKE!" Snape yelled.

"All right, now SHOOT HIM!"And with that, the mer-people got out their machine guns, and fired randomly among the school grounds.

**HARRY**

"HARRY!" Pansy screeched. "Come here! I want to fix your hair!"

"Pansy..." Harry mumbled, unsure of what Pansy was trying to do. He walked over to her, where she placed her hands on his head, and began to try and fix his permanently- messy hair. "Pansy! Stop!"

"NO!" Pansy screeched. "I will not have your hair embarrassing me at the ball!"

Harry began to run, faster than he had ever run before. "PANSY! It's just hair! It won't be a problem! It's not like your rep relies on it or anything!"

'THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK!" Pansy was obviously angry.

Harry stop[ed running as he reached a staircase. He panicked. Pansy was drawing nearer. He looked towards the bottom of the steps, away from where Pansy was coming from. He felt a push, and fell to his death. Harry Potter, the boy who lived, had died from being pushed down the steps by a PMSing girl.

"THAT'S FOR NOT FIXING YOUR HAIR!" Pansy yelled at the top of her lungs, laughing at the death of her boyfriend.

**DRACO**

Draco was skipping around his room, getting ready for a normal day of classes. Little did anyone know that Draco was planning on making today a not-normal day. He carefully planned everything out. Today, he was finally going to show Hogwarts the REAL Draco Lucius Malfoy. He glanced in the mirror before walking out of his room.

The first person he saw was Blaise. "DRACO! What happened to you?" Blaise was shocked at the sight of Draco in pink pumps, which highlighted the pale lavender eyeshadow Draco had carefully

applied.

The other Slytherins had similar reactions. "Oh my gosh, what happened to him?" "Is he gay?" "Oh no, the Slytherin sex god has changed..."

"I'm A pretty girl!" Draco began to sing in a sing-song voice.

"Yes! Now we can get together!" Blaise yelled.

"I didn't know you felt that way, Blaise!" Draco said, gathering Blaise in an embrace. They kissed, then broke, and began to sing "I feel Pretty!" And they lived happily ever after, as so many gay Slytherins do.

**VOLDEMORT**

Voldemort apparated into the Grand Hall. "Where is Harry Potter?" he asked all of the students. All of them were too afraid of him to answer his question. "ANSWER ME!"

One brave Slytherin stood up. "My Lord, Pansy-" he pointed to Pansy- "shoved him down the steps the other day because she was unhappy with his hair. Now you don't have to waste your time killing him!" The Slytherin boy smiled.

"NO! My one true love, dead!" Voldemort began sobbing uncontrollably.

Everyone stared at him in shock, especially the Slytherins. The man they had looked up to, was GAY!

"YES! Me and Blaise aren't the only gay ones around here!" Draco shouted.

Voldemort smiled. "I-" he began. He then proceeded to spontaneously explode, his body turning into small fish.

Neville began to laugh. "VOLDIEFISH, VOLDIEFISH, oooooooooo VOLDIE VOLDIE VOLDIEFISH!" ( **A/n: if you have seen mysterious ticking noise, the voldiefish is to the tune of voldemort's final song!)**

**GINNY**

Ginny did what she had been doing for weeks. She walked down to the lake, and waited for her boyfriend to emerge from the water. I know what your thinking, and no, Ginny is not dating a merman. Ginny began to smile as her lover arose from the water.

"HECTOR!" the lovestruck girl chirped. "Good morning!"

"Ae-ra-ga-rrrrrrrr!" the giant squid responded. He was just as in love as the red-haired girl was. "Goh-shid-fin-la?" Roughly, this translated into. "I love you, my dear! Can I ask you something?"

"Of course!" Ginny giggled. She suspected what the question was. The squid crawled out of the water, and bent down on half of it's many knees.

"Hi-ro-tih-nomen?" He asked.

"Of course I would love to be your wife!" Ginny shrieked. Hector the squid pulled her into a hug, breaking every bone in her body. She was broken, but still happy. The couple got married on a warm day in April. Two years later, Ginny returned to Hogwarts as a teacher, and Hector moved back into the lake. Twenty-five little red-haired squid-humans follow him into the lake, and visited their mother every time it rained.


End file.
